One of the last times I blogged, I wrote about how my relationship with God took a huge hit after my stage IV diagnosis. I was in a place of hurt and disappointment, so much so that I no longer wanted to be still and hear from God. I was purposefully ignoring and avoiding my normal interactions with God. What I didn’t realize was that the only person being hurt by that was me. It’s funny how we do things thinking we’re punishing God but in actuality we are punishing ourselves.
When I came to a place where I realized that although I was letting go of God, God was never going to let me go. In the last few years, I’ve been on a journey where I’m looking to find and live through the God in me. I’ve realized and understood that no matter what I face, God stands with me. I have often questioned God and the experiences that I have had, some of those experiences hand-picked just for me by the Divine, and other experiences I have placed myself in. However, each experience has helped me evolve and become the woman I am destined to be.
Because I know that my mind, body, and soul take some blows through the years, I often spend time re-aligning, re-adjusting, re-connecting, and re-storing as many times as I need to but most frequently at the end of a year and to start a new year.
During that time, I shut out all of the social media noise and spend more time reading motivational books, meditating, and praying. I focus on building myself up and spending quality time with the Divine. This time, God has been reminding me of the promises made over my life. Things that were promised and revealed years ago are now coming up in my meditation and prayer time. It is in these God moments that life becomes more real and hope is restored. It is in these moments that I become more encouraged in this fight for my life. It is in these moments that I am reminded of who God sees me as and not who I see myself as or how anyone else sees me.
While I’ve always understood the significance of being still, the older I get, the more I see those God moments play out during my stillness. This time of reflection and revelation is part of my evolution.
I'm embarking on new territory. Evolve with me! Peace, Love, & Light! T