My best friend called me a couple of weeks ago and asked me if I thought I had everything I needed to get through the storms I’ve been through. My answer to her was yes but if she would have asked me the same question during my first battle with breast cancer, I probably would have said no. Through life’s experiences, I had become so broken and fearful that I had lost confidence in myself and God. How could God make something that was so broken? I doubted my ability to get me through the very trying times I was facing. Initially, I had to look to others to help me maintain my faith. I attended P.U.S.H (Pray Until Something Happens) at my church, at least twice a month and I made sure that I surrounded myself with other women of faith. These ladies had to reassure me of myself and God’s amazing ability to get me through the situations that were trying to kill me. I had to fight my way through the depression, doubt, and fear. Every day for about a month, I prayed and cried myself through the pressure and pains that I was facing
Through meditation, reading and prayer, I was reminded that I was made in the image of God. Through connecting to my spiritual source, I regained my confidence in God and self. I was always aware of the power that I had inside me; I just had to choose to access that power and want to be better. I had to want to release the anger, fear, pain, frustration, and doubt that I felt. I had to forgive myself and those who hurt me. I had to be ok with me. I had to love me enough to want to get to the next level of my life. I had to surrender to God and make myself available to the manifestation of the desires of my heart.
I remind myself daily that God loves me and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I can honestly say that I had gotten to a point that I did not believe it. I had to envision myself beyond the pains of my past. I had to dream and hope again. I had to want to experience life on a much higher level. I had to become the Tameka that I had always known God said I was. I had to become the Tameka that had heard from God as a little girl. I had to EVOLVE!
I’ve now evolved to a place where even when I hear bad news, I’m thinking positive. I’m speaking life and I remember those God moments, moments where God has given me a glimpse of what my destiny looks like. I’m reminding me of what the word of God says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6, “Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.” Pslam 23:4, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28, and “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11..
God has equipped me with everything that I need to do what he has called me to do. God’s word is my weapon and strength. My reminders that I’m not alone in this battle I fight. Not only that but he has given me all that I need to maneuver through this life. I just had to open up enough and believe in myself again! Life experiences will get you to that place where you begin to question if you’re good enough or if you deserve “it”, whatever that it is. You have to know with everything in you that YES, you are good enough and you have everything you need to face the trials you have to face! Pressure makes diamonds, my dear!
**Just a few more scriptures I’d like to share. Hope they help!
-“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
-“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9